Andy Warhol Called -- He'd Like His Boobs Back

Our HNT orders are in; choose my favorite HNT from 2005 and post it, with a brand NEW story explaining why it's my favorite.



Well, after tossing around a few, I decided that this indeed is my favorite HNT of 2005. I actually don't have a lot of them to choose from (they're linked on my sidebar if you want to catch up), but this one was by far the most fun.

First of all, I got to play with photoshop.
Then I got to play with Flicker's collage toy.
Finally...
My boobs look so fucking perky!

Yes, that's deep, I know, but it's the honest story of why Andy Warhol in Bad Drag is my favorite HNT of 2005.

Now, go off to see the Wizard, the wonderful Wizard of Os.

This is Funky, and that is all.

Here's Looking at You, Kids

SooooooooooooOSBASSO shook things up a bit this week, didn't he? Instead of our usual half-nekkid fodder, we are instructed by the bOSs to gift three fellow HNTers with something other than skin. Being the obedient little fuck that I am, I gift (in no particular order):


Robin a.k.a Binsk
Binsk, you're one of the first blogs I started reading when I started reading blogs. Because of your quirky sense of humor and your fantastic eye for photography (my GOD, I remember when you bought your camera), I gift you with a round-trip, all expenses paid trip to someplace warm. When you arrive, you're going to be happy to find out that of the four weeks you'll be staying there, you get to spend a week with a crack-photographer, going on one of those travelog photoshoots. Your pictures will, of course, be published in a very artsy magazine upon your return. The other three weeks will be spent in an all-inclusive, oh-so-exclusive resort, where you will be served cocktails by men without shirts. Oh yes, Honey -- I arranged with your boss for these four weeks to be time off with pay.




Roximoon over at Between a Rock and a Diamond
Roxi, I found you through HNT about a week or two before you were forced to take your blog down. I mourned! From the first time I read your blog I was hooked. You are forceful, sexy, and intelligent. You never cease to amaze me, how bold and unpredictable and confident you are. So to you, I gift a Mind Control Mirror. With this Mind Control Mirror, you will no longer have to worry if your boyfriend's parents really like you. You'll know it beyond a certainty. In addition, this Mind Control Mirror comes with a profanity filter, so you can say "fuck" all you want, without fear or trepidation.



Femi-Mommy at Random Thoughts and Confessions
Femi-Mommy, I also discovered you through HNT, and though I don't always get the chance to visit you daily (nor have I had the chance to visit you in your new digs), I always shoot straight over to your blog on Thursdays (well, actually Wednesday nights, truth be told). Your photography is more than that; it's art, and no, it's not bad art. Art should transcend the medium and evoke. Your portraits always do. You have set an example in that we never have to just point the camera at our collar bone and shoot -- we have the option of saying in print, "This is how I feel." So I gift you with good health for the rest of your days. Being in good health, you will have the stamina to take on the second prong of your gift. I have opened an art gallery in New York City, with an annex in LA and Miami. I'll be commissioning the work of both you and Freckle Boy, and all expenses of reproduction, travel, and accomodations have been taken care of. Your work will be heavily promoted, my muse, and I promise you two will have plenty of down-time to enjoy your penthouse apartments.

Here's looking at you, Kids. For your intellect, your confidence, and your passion, I wish you all the best of the holiday of your choosing.
This is Funky, and that is all.

Dirty Little Secret

Two hours in the house all to myself. LoveBug is in South Florida, the BugOffspring are all at church. What do to... what to do...

Well, first you get nekkid.

Then you study your camera for the time delay setting.

Finding none, you search for a full length mirror.

Well, it's HNT, and even though CadiBug has desecrated her mirror, this is going to have to do.

Then you put your clothes back on...

... or not...

... and you upload.

As it turns out, perhaps desecrating a mirror with song lyrics isn't necessarily a bad thing.

Did you play HNT? It's okay, you can tell me. I will keep your dirty little secret.




Go see the bOSs and let him know too. He's really good at keeping hundreds of dirty little secrets, week in and week out.

This is Funky, and that is all.

Ten Things I Hate About You

I hate you because you told me I couldn't have a camera phone, and then you bought one for yourself so you could have Bluetooth Wireless.

I hate you because you're in Nashville, and you refuse to send me pictures using your new camera phone because you think camera phone pictures suck ass.

I hate you because you're on a business trip in Nashville, without me.

I hate you because your beautiful sales manager had to go with you.

I hate you because you're two-stepping at The Wildhorse Saloon while I am dodging the clock.

I hate you because you're in my city, walking past our courtyard, and eating breakfast at the Pancake Pantry after a night of hearty drinking.

I hate you because it's going to snow tomorrow where you are, and you actually think that's a bad thing.

I hate you because you don't know how beautiful you are.

I hate you because this is the closest I'll get to seeing your back as I fall asleep tonight.







But most of all, I hate you because I don't see myself the way you see me, and I'm jealous because I'd like to love myself that much.





This is Funky and that is all.

I'd Like to Buy the World a Coke

There are times I envy those who are color blind, and I mean that in it's truest definition. As a photographer of the digital variety, all my shots come out in living color. It's then up to me and Adobe to decide whether I want to color my world, or desaturate it.

More often than not, I desaturate my world. I take it to black and white so that, void of color, I can view the forms, shapes, and lines in their purests forms.

Light/Dark/Shadows

Then I think about those people who only see black and white, in the most deviated sense of the word. They see the world and the people around them as either being "right" or "wrong". They don't allow for blemishes, nuances, and imperfections. They damn everything that doesn't come out perfectly exposed in Velvia.

I'd like to buy the world a coke, and taint it with tolerance. Whether color blind, or 20/20, it would be so lovely if humanity could accept the things it fears, whatever they are.

Wouldn't it be grand if we could all rise to the challenge of loving the unloveable, embracing the unknown, and evolving to something higher than our own selfishness?

This is Funky, and that is all.